Bullied into Death
by Elphaba94
Summary: When the bullying gets too much, Rachel decides to just take her life straight away. Kurt never even got to tell her how much she meant to him. Kurt/Rachel friendship. Rated T for suicide.


One: Rachel's Death

Kurt could not believe that she was actually gone. The hallways of school just seem so different now that she wasn't there. No one was even working. Everyone just stood to one side with their heads hung low in extreme sadness. No one would have believed Kurt to be upset about her death, he wasn't the nicest person to her but the truth was; he loved Rachel like a sister. They always had the same dream, to be on Broadway and to live in New York. He was the only one who understood her.

"Hey Britt," he walked over to the tall blonde who was slouched against her locker, picking at her nails. She looked up at him and smiled, tears streaming down her face, "Please don't cry eh? She's in a better place now."

"Leave Brittany alone lady," Santana scowled as she shoved past Kurt and wrapped an arm round her best friend.

"This is your fault anyway Satan," he snapped back; using the usual name that he called her before storming away to the library. It was Santana's fault, she always bullied Rachel and she always had hated her. He sighed deeply and folded his arms across his chest before walking up to the librarian. She knew him well; he'd always hung out in there when his dad was in hospital.

"Miss Read; can I sit in here please?"

"Of course you can Kurt," she smiled at him and allowed him to go and take a seat at his usual table. It was right in the corner with just one chair at it, the loser table as most people called it but he didn't care. It was quiet and he could spend some time alone. Grabbing a book from the book shelf, he sighed and sat down, tucking his bag underneath the chair.

"Hey Kurt," he looked up from his book and noticed Quinn walking towards him, a fake smile planted upon her face. She stood opposite and ran her fingers over the table, "What are you doing in here?"

"Sitting," he mumbled and shrugged his shoulders, "Why would you care anyway?" he added with a sigh.

"I'm upset about Rachel too, you know?" she whispered and Kurt could tell that she was close to breaking down, "But you can't let it get to you; I could tell that you guys were close, I thought you hated her really."

"I thought I did too; but then we got to know each other, after singing Defying Gravity I guess."

"I feel bad, for all those times that I bullied her. I know we've gotten closer recently but it still doesn't change anything really."

"No," he shook his head at her and pursed his lips together, "It doesn't because she's dead now Quinn and it's all yours and Santana's fault. You were the main people who bullied her into this and Santana doesn't even seem to care; all she cares about is Brittany."

"I care though," Quinn growled through gritted teeth, "That's what I'm trying to tell you; I care so much about that girl Kurt."

"You didn't act like it though," he pointed out to her, "If you really cared then why were you so horrible to her? Why did you call her man hands and stuff like that?"

"You were just as bad." She was right there. Kurt knew that he was just as bad and he did feel guilty about it but he changed, he'd become friends with Rachel before she died, "Sorry Kurt but we are all upset about her. You can't let her death affect you this much, you need to move on."

"Her funeral is this Thursday; are you coming?" Quinn nodded, "I think it'd mean a lot to Rachel if you did come, it'd mean a lot to me as well."

"Are you planning on staying in here all day?" he shrugged his shoulders. He was planning to; he'd love to be able to stay in there all day but he knew that he'd probably get Mr Schue or Principal Figgins on his case, "You need to come to lessons Kurt; it isn't healthy to stay in here."

"I'll think about it," he sighed.

"That's all I ask," Quinn smiled properly at him this time before walking out of the library. He watched her go and then turned back to his book, flicking the page. He hadn't really realised what he'd picked up, he just wanted something to distract him but when he saw the title, his heart sunk. The book was called 'Before I Die.' It was about this girl who knew that she was going to die and made a list of ten things that she wanted to do before she did. If only Rachel had done that; at least then, the last thing that happened to her wouldn't be being slushied by Karofsky and Azimio. It'd be something nice instead.

He closed the book and shoved it away from him before resting his head on the table and sighing. If only there was a way to get all loved ones back from the dead, he knew that Rachel would hate it but he wouldn't. He didn't even realise that she was this unhappy, now she'll never have the chance to be on Broadway.

He hadn't even seen Finn all morning; he wondered how he was taking the news. Grabbing his bag, he stood up and left the library in a rush. He knew just where to find his step-brother; especially if he was upset about Rachel. He was right, he was sitting in the choir room, head in his hands.

"Finn," Kurt dropped his bag and raced over; wrapping his arms round him and allowing him to cry silently, "It's okay to cry Finn; its okay to cry," he soothed, attempting to calm him down, "You can cry."

"Rachel wouldn't want me to," he shook his head and wiped away a lost tear from his eye, "I just can't believe that she's gone Kurt; my girlfriend."

"I know," Kurt choked out and rubbed at his back, "I know, I miss her too Finn."

"I...I don't get why she did it Kurt," he sniffed, "I know that she was bullied and I know that she didn't have many friends but I thought she was happy. I mean, you two were beginning to get quite close, I loved her and she has this great talent that is going to make her big someday. I don't know why she had to go and kill herself, I didn't even realise that she was depressed. I feel terrible."

"Don't feel terrible," Kurt reassured him, "It wasn't your fault; none of us knew that she was that upset, she didn't give us any signals. She didn't even warn us, please don't cry Finn. I...I just spoke to Quinn and she feels just as bad too."

"She...She does?" Finn asked in shock, looking up at him.

"She does," he nodded, "She really misses Rachel and she feels bad for bullying her."

"I bet Santana doesn't," he mumbled angrily to himself.

"She probably doesn't but who cares about her?"

"I...I just hate it," Finn stood up and kicked a chair, going to lean against a wall, "I hate her! This is mainly her fault and she doesn't even bloody care, I...I wish that she was the one to go and kill herself Kurt. She...She's just such a bitch."

"Finn, please calm down," Kurt said softly and sat down in his seat, "You're going to hurt yourself if you're not careful." Finn turned on the spot, breathing heavily as he looked at the floor. I remained seated; watching him for a couple of seconds, praying that he was okay.

"I just want her back Kurt," he finally spoke and Kurt nodded in agreement, allowing for him to come and sit next to him, "I...I just don't know what I am going to do without her."

"You'll manage," he promised him; awkwardly placing a hand on his shoulder, "You will."

"I don't know," Finn sighed and shook his head, "She was the only one who I truly loved; I mean, Quinn was a great girlfriend but Rachel was different you know? She was special and Santana, well I didn't really date her for long but...Rachel's always been the one. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah, course I do," Kurt nodded, "You and Rachel were great together and I'm sure that she felt the same way about you too."

"I don't know, she loved Jesse as well."

"Yeah, but you didn't go and throw eggs on her," Kurt giggled and gave Finn's shoulder a nudge who also managed a small laugh, "Her funeral is on Thursday; do you think you're going to manage?"

"I guess," he faintly nodded, "I need to go anyway; I need to say a proper goodbye to her."

"We all do."

Both boys just sat there in silence for a long time. Finn had his hands in his lap and was constantly staring at the floor whilst Kurt has his eyes fixed on the trophy that they'd won at Sectionals; that Rachel had won for them.

"She really is talented," Kurt finally spoke, "Don't you think?"

"Yeah," Finn smiled, "She had a huge future ahead of her; I think we all knew that."

"Well she was our star; she won every competition for us didn't she?" Finn nodded and looked towards his brother, "You were one of the nicest people to her. I know that you had your moments where you fought and argued but you were nice to her, you let her have the defying gravity solo."

"That was mainly for my dad," Kurt admitted.

"Partly for Rachel though, I'm sure. Are you hungry?" Kurt shook his head. Really, he was starving and he could feel his stomach growling but somehow, he just wasn't in the mood to eat anything, "Me neither; I can't bring myself to do anything today."

"Come on," Kurt sighed and stood up, "We need to eat something, don't we?"

"Sure," Finn nodded faintly and stood up with him, "Thanks Kurt; Rachel was lucky to have a friend like you."

"She was also lucky to have a boyfriend like you."

**Okay so this is my first story. I love the Rachel and Kurt pairing so it'll be a friendship story for them. I hope you enjoyed it and will leave a review. **


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